


helping hand

by 101places



Series: aos pride [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Disability, Gen, Trans Character, Trans Fitz, Trans Mack, Trans Male Character, early season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/101places/pseuds/101places
Summary: Fitz and Mack share secrets in the med room.( AKA : they're trans. thats the secret )





	helping hand

**Author's Note:**

> why is mack trans? because i say so, thats why!
> 
> i wanna write something with mack/yo-yo sometime this month though i havent written them properly before so we'll see... i want to be able to do them justice!
> 
> as always, kudos & comments are much appreciated! thanks for reading!

Fitz stared at his shaking hand, betrayed. He took a moment, shutting his eyes and taking a breath, trying to will calm to himself in the hope that it would have some kind of impact on his trembling hand, but as he opened his eyes he saw that there was no change and he let out a groan of frustration.

A few feet away from him, Simmons flitted around the room, stopping when she noticed his stress and coming closer to him, sending him a sympathetic- but not pitying- look.

“It’s okay to ask for help, Fitz.” She reminded him gently.

“ _ Who  _ could I ask for he-help? The only person who knows about  _ this _ -” He gestured to himself vaguely, “Is  _ you _ .”

“I may be the only one that you have explicitly told, but it would be noted in your personnel file, which means at  _ least _ Agent Coulson is aware. Potentially Agent May, as well. I’m sure that they wouldn’t mind assisting.”

Fitz scoffed, rolling his eyes, “ _ Right _ . Because the Director needs  _ more _ reason to think I’m- to- to think I’m useless.”

“He doesn’t think you’re useless, Fitz. Everyone knows how hard you are trying.”

“They don’t act like it.”

“That’s unfair.” She argued, moving so that he couldn’t avoid looking at her. “They just don’t know how to be. No one has experience with this, and it isn’t fair that you’re having to be left with unhelpful reactions, but it doesn’t mean that they can’t see how much progress you have made.”

“I know. I know that you’re- that you’re right.” Fitz sighed. “But I- I don’t want to. It was hard enough to talk about th- this before.”

Fitz turned away from her, but his movements were clumsy and he bumped into the counter beside him, causing the precariously balanced contents to crash to the floor. The sound made him jump and hit the shelf behind him painfully. In a moment of frustration he lashed out, swiping his hand along the shelf and bringing more miscellaneous first aid supplies tumbling to the floor.

“Bloody  _ hell _ ,” He ground out, rubbing his face with his hand. “I just- I can’t- I can’t do  _ anything _ .”

Before Simmons was given the opportunity to challenge his statement there was a knock at the door. Fitz and Simmons froze, glancing over at each other.

“Everything alright in there?” Mack’s familiar voice spoke up from the other side of the door.

Fitz shook his head and bounced out of nervous energy, but didn’t reply. Simmons glanced between him and the door. Hearing no reply, Mack opened the door, taking in the state of the room without judgement.

“Well,” Simmons mused, “Perhaps you could ask him for help!”

Fitz ignored her, looking in Mack’s direction but avoiding eye contact.

“Everything okay, Turbo?”

“‘m fine.”

Mack didn’t accept Fitz’s blatant lie, taking a few steps further into the room and taking a look at what Fitz had been struggling with. His eyebrows raised a touch in surprise, and he looked over at Fitz with an expression that Fitz couldn’t understand.

“Having trouble with your shots?” He asked, reaching out and picking up the testosterone injections that had been left on the counter.

“His hand has been shaking too much to treat himself safely.” Simmons explained, at the same time that Fitz mumbled. “I can’t- My hand won’t stop shaking.”

Mack nodded. “I could help.”

Fitz’s gaze burned a hole into the floor. “You don’t- You wouldn’t know how and I don’t- I can’t explain.”

Oddly, Mack chuckled softly. Fitz frowned and looked over at him.

“You know, I wouldn’t show most people this…” He raised his shirt and Fitz blinked rapidly as he tried to process what was happening. When he caught sight of the twin scars across Mack’s chest he frowned, staring.

“Now,  _ that’s _ interesting.” Simmons stated, walking closer and tilting her head as she looked. She reached out her hand and for a second Fitz thought she was going to touch Mack’s chest, but instead she kept her hands a few inches away from Mack’s body, tracing the pattern of his scars. “Mastectomy scars. In this context, that likely means…”

“You- You’re- Are you-” Fitz tried to ask, but he couldn’t quite get the last word out.

“Transgender? Yeah.” Mack answered for him anyway, dropping his shirt again.

“He is  _ quite _ the transition goal.” Simmons spoke appreciatively.

“How- How- How long, uh, how long have you been tra- transitioning?”

“Ten years.” Mack answered easily, “Five years since top surgery.”

Fitz found himself silently wishing that he was able to be as casual about his status as a trans man as Mack was. He dropped his gaze again.

“It’s, um. Uh. I’ve- uh- I’ve only- I haven’t been on T for, um, not for- not for very long.”  _ Nailed it _ .

Mack looked the injections over, “You ever considered using a gel, or a patch? Might be easier on you.”

“That’s what I said.” Simmons chimed. “Intramuscular applications have their benefits, but transdermal applications are  _ far _ easier to apply.”

Fitz shot Simmons a glare, “Injections are- um- they’re a bit, uh, a bit- they don’t take as long.”

“Only marginally.” Simmons interjected, but her addition went ignored.

“Each to their own.” Mack shrugged, before getting back to the point. “I know how this works. If you’d like any help, all you have to do is ask for it, Turbo.”

Fitz pointedly didn’t look to see Simmons reaction, knowing that she’d have that starry-eyed expression she wore when things went her way. Instead, he kept his gaze downcast, fiddling with his hands.

“I- uh- I wanted to do it myself.” Fitz quickly continued before Simmons was given a chance to speak. “But I don’t think I can.”

“Everyone needs help sometimes.” Mack said casually.

Hesitantly, Fitz looked up at Mack and gave a slight nod. “Thank you.”

Taking that as a request for help, Mack took one of the injections and prepared it. Fitz rolled up his sleeve again and looked away, shutting his eyes to brace himself for the sting. Within a few moments it was done, and Fitz let out a relieved breath. Mack turned away to dispose of the used needle safely, and Fitz fidgeted on the spot.

“Don’t- uh- I don’t- want everyone to, um. I don’t want people to know.” Fitz spoke up suddenly.

Mack looked over and smiled softly. “No problem. You like your privacy, I can respect that.”

Fitz scuffed his foot on the floor awkwardly. To his side, Simmons looked between him and Mack. “Just ask him, Fitz!”

Fitz took a steadying breath, then asked: “Is- would you- can you help me with, um, with this- again? Until- Until my hand stops- Until I can do it myself?”

Mack nodded. “Of course, Turbo. Any time.” He turned to leave the room, indicating to the door with his head. “I was going to play some games with Hunter. You’re welcome to join.”

Fitz looked over at the state of the room. “Um. Maybe- maybe later. Right now I- someone should- I made a mess.”

“Then I’ll see you later.” Mack said, and left the room.

Fitz stood in place for a few moments, looking at the door. Without looking, he could feel the smug smile that Simmons was sending his way.

“You know, I’ve always liked Mack.” She hummed.

“Shut up.” Fitz said, but there was no real fire behind his words. His previous frustration was nowhere to be seen as he set to tidying up the mess that he’d made.


End file.
